I wish I had written this joke!

A man is talking to his buddy at work one day, and says “You won’t believe what happened last night: my teenage daughter walks into the living room and says, ‘Dad, please cancel my allowance, forget my college tuition loan, rent my room out, throw all my clothes out the window. Also reclaim my TV and laptop. Send all my jewelry to the Salvation Army and then sell my car, take my front door key away, and throw me out of the house immediately. When you’re done with that, legally disown me and never talk to me again. BTW, be sure to write me out of your will and leave my share to any charity you choose.'”

“No kidding” replies the friend, “she actually said that?”

“Naw, I’m just paraphrasing. What she actually said was ‘Dad, I want you to meet my new boyfriend Mohammed…we’re going to work together on Hillary’s 2016 election campaign!'”

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