Sandra Fluke blames Anthony #Weiner sexting scandal on . . .

. . . you guessed it, “conservative, evangelical, Tea Party Republicans.

Speaking to an Emily’s List fundraiser, Fluke said that “GOP efforts to limit the availability of birth control” were “directly responsible for Weiner’s behavior.”

“What men, and women want, above all is SAFE sex. It’s our constitutional right. So now the GOP is limiting our access to both birth control AND abortion on demand. So a poor person like me, I can’t afford to have sex, unless it’s unprotected, and if a poor person accidentally gets pregnant, it’s now almost impossible to get an abortion.”

“That’s why so many men and women are resorting to sexting. It’s safe sex. The ultimate safe sex.”

“And now we’re hypocritically blaming this poor guy Weiner for basically trying to do the right thing. It makes no sense whatsoever. It just goes to show how Rush Limbaugh, Newt Gingrich, and the rest of the Tea Party are messing up this country. Weiner’s a good guy, he’s my hero. I hope he wins, he’ll makes a great mayor, and I’m going up to NYC this weekend to campaign for him.”

I hope that the reader will pardon me if I just break out laughing in the middle of this. A student who can afford Georgetown University’s law school is a “poor person” who can’t afford birth control? It was noted that the Target store about three miles from that campus was selling birth control pills to women without health insurance for a whopping $9.00 a month. Maybe if the lovely Miss Fluke skips two margaritas a month, she can afford not to get knocked up.

As for the little Weiner, it’s kind of silly to hold that he needed to “sext” — and Patterico has some of his best ones! — because he’s afraid of some poor woman getting pregnant because she might not have birth control due to the wicked Republicans, because he’s a married man! If he is horny, he has a wife, a rather attractive wife, to whom he can turn.

Well, maybe he can. Huma Abedin stood beside the embattled Mr Weiner in his press conference, apparently because she has about zero self respect, but it wouldn’t be much of a surprise if the little Weiner doesn’t get to turn to his darling bride for sex for a while now.

22 Comments

  1. Weiner’s a good guy, he’s my hero. I hope he wins, he’ll makes a great mayor, and I’m going up to NYC this weekend to campaign for him.”

    To quote PJ O’Rourke: Words fail me!

  2. Or, to put it another way – how can someone THIS dumb get into law school, let alone graduate? God forbid she becomes a criminal defense attorney. If I were her client, I’d be thinking “Hello, lethal injection!”

  3. From where did you get the blockquote? The link provides nothing. Are you certain this wasn’t a joke/satire?

    The only problem with satire is – if it’s really good satire, sometimes you can’t tell it from the real thing.

  4. I’ll admit to feeling a tiny bit sorry for Weiner. He looks like the sort of guy who was a dork going back to first grade. In high school, when the popular guys were banging cheerleaders he was probably jacking off to posters of Farrah Fawcett. And then there’s his name. Having Weiner for a last name is, for a boy, like having Hogg for a last name if you’re a girl.

    Most likely he went into Congress because – finally! – he could be where the Cool Kids were. He could make money and score with the babes. The fact that he was a scrawny little weiner who probably got picked on by the football players no longer mattered. But because he was an insecure jerk at heart, he didn’t know the socially correct way to commit adultery. If he had, he would have been a Kennedy and done so with style and self assurance.

  5. Fluke describes herself as a poor person, a poor person from Sexton, PA, who graduated from Cornell (major in Feminist, Gender, and Sexuality Studies), graduated from Georgetown Law cum laude in 2012 and passed the California Bar the same year, and is now a practicing attorney.

    She’s engaged to Adam ‘Cutie Pants’ Mutterperl. The Mutterperl family of New York is among the richest 1%. The family established a Scholarship Endowment at Brandeis University in the early 1950s and are regarded as traditional Jewish socialists, and Democrat Party stalwarts.

    Recently, during the Rush Limbaugh incident, pictures of Fluke and Cutie Pants surfaced of their poor person’s vacation along the French, Spanish and Italian Rivieras.

  6. The little Weiner is an accomplished politician, a man who has won elections before. After losing his last job behind this sexting crap, he had to know that if he continued it, and ran for office again, his opponents would be looking for this stuff. The problem isn’t just his obsession; the problem is that he’s just too plain stupid to be Mayor of New York.

  7. “What men, and women want, above all is SAFE sex. It’s our constitutional right.

    Wonder what sextion of the cuontstitution that’s spread over???? Maybe it was missed in the dicktation.

  8. I was watching O’Reilly tonight and they did a story on Weiner. And I turned to my Mom and said “Why shouldn’t Anthony Weiner become mayor of New York?” New York City deserves no less. He couldn’t be any worse than mayor Bloomberg, the petit-dictator of the soda pop fountain.

  9. Well..my 15 seconds of fame are up, and the NSA is now reading my email..I’m the author of that little piece, and thank you all for the compliment that “it’s often hard to tell really good satire from the real thing..”

    Which just shows how whacked out the Dems really are

  10. Weiner couldn’t find or afford any birth control? That’s as ridiculous as saying that Sandra Fluke needs Catholics to buy her some.

  11. No wonder 9-11 happened in New York, Weiner Bloomberg coons spics. Time to clean house and make New York scumbag central, ooops it is. Forgot the Clinton Crime Fambly

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