Hilarious Internet rant I just read on IMDb.com!

If you grew up in the 1980′s you might enjoy this rant letter……..

by Roadghost69 (Sun Jul 10 2011 15:18:18)

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As I check out the numerous threads on this board and many others about people wanting to “Go Back” to the 1980′s. I came across this “Rant Letter” on the internet about today’s youth. So here it is……

When I was a kid, adults used to bore me to tears with their tedious diatribes about how hard things were. When they were growing up; What with walking twenty-five miles to school morning…Uphill…barefoot, Both ways….yadda, yadda, yadda….

And I remember promising myself that when I grew up, there was no way in hell I was going to lay a bunch of crap like that on my kids about How hard I had it and how easy they’ve got it!

But now that I’m over the ripe old age of forty, I can’t help but look around and notice the youth of today. You’ve got it so easy! I mean compared to my childhood, you live in a damn Utopia! and I hate to say it, but you kids today, you don’t know how good you’ve got it!

I mean, when I was a kid we didn’t have the internet. If we wanted to know something, we had to go to the damn library and look it up ourselves, in the card catalog!!

There was no email!! We had to actually write somebody a letter-with a pen! and no spell check! then you had to walk all the way across the street and put it in the mailbox, and it would take like a week to get there.

Child Protective Services didn’t care if our parents beat us. As a matter of fact, the parents of all my friends also had permission to kick our ass! Nowhere was safe!

There were no MP3′s, Napsters, iTune, or ipods! If you wanted to steal music, you had to hitchhike to the record store and shoplift it yourself! Or you had to wait around all day to tape it off the radio, and the DJ would usually talk over the beginning and @#% it all up! there were no CD Players! We had tape decks in

our car. We’d play our

favorite tape and “eject” it when finished, and then the tape would come undone rendering it useless. Cause, hey that’s how we rolled, Baby! Dig?

And talk of hardship? You couldn’t just download porn! You had to steal it from your brother or bribe some homeless dude to buy you a copy of “Hustler” at the 7-11! It was either that or the lingerie section of the JC Penny catalog those were your options!

We didn’t have fancy crap like call waiting! If you were on the phone and somebody else called they got a busy signal, that’s it! And we didn’t have fancy Caller ID boxes either! When the phone rang, you had no idea who it was! It could be your school, your mom, your boss, your bookie, your drug dealer, a collections agent, you just didn’t know!!! You had to pick it up and take your chances, mister!

There weren’t any freakin’ cell phones either. If you left the house, you just didn’t make a damn call or receive one. You Actually had to be out of touch with your “friends” OH MY GOSH!!!! Think of the horror… not being intouch with someone 24/7!!! And then there’s TEXTING. Yeah, right. Please! you kids have no idea how annoying you are.

We didn’t have any fancy Sony Playstation video games with high-resolution 3-D graphics! We had Atari 2600! with games like “Space Invaders” and “asteroids” and the graphics sucked ***! Your guy was a little square! you actually had to use your imagination! And there were no multiple levels or screens, it was just one screen forever! And you could never win. The game just kept getting harder and harder and faster and faster until you died! Just Like LIFE!

When you went to a movie theater there was no such thing as stadium seating! All the seats were the same height! If a tall guy ore some old broad with a hat sat in front of you and you couldn’t see, you were just screwed!

You had to use a little called the TV Guide to find out what was on TV! You were screwed when it came to channel surfing! You had to get off your ass and walk over to the TV to change the Channel!! NO REMOTES!!! Oh,no what is the world coming to?!?!

There was no Cartoon Network either! you could only get cartoons on Saturday Morning. Do you hear what I’m saying, we had to wait ALL WEEK for cartoons, you spoiled little rat bastards!

And we didn’t have microwaves, If we wanted to heat something up, we had to use the stove or go build a frigging fire… imagine that! If we wanted to pop popcorn, we had to use that stupid Jiffy POP thing and shake it over the stove forever like an idiot.

And our parents told us to stay outside and play… all day long. Oh, no electronics to soothe and comfort. And if you came back inside.. you were doing chores!

And car seats-Oh, please! mom threw you in the back seat and you hung on. And if you were lucky you got the “safety arm” across the chest at the last moment if she had to stop suddenly, and if your head hit the dashboard, well that your fault for calling “shot gun” in the first place!

See! That’s exactly what I’m talking about! You kids have got it too damn easy! You’re spoiled rotten! You guys wouldn’t have lasted five minutes back in 1987 or any time before!

9 Comments

  1. I can understand every damned word of that. If we wanted to steal music we’d borrow a tape from a friend and record to another cassette. I remember the end of the 8 track. I remember having to walk home from the beach in bare feet (3 miles) in the summer wearing a full suit carrying my board because mom wasn’t picking up the landline, and my car was in the shop because…..she backed into it, dented it, and gave me a ride to the beach.

    I remember when MTV played music. I remember when watching boobies on HBO, Showtime, and Cinemax in lowdef was awesome! I remember when there weren’t that many channels yet there was still something good on.

    I remember when we’d have to wait forever to get the weather report or read the paper. And if the weather forecast was changing during the day, well, sucks to be you if you missed the report on radio. And having a view of the radar for incoming storms? Good luck, you were going to get soaked.

    I remember when people were really excited for a new album to come out. Many kids do not even know what an album is. I remember playing an actual guitar, instead of some fake thing hooked up to a video game.

    Sigh.

    Though I will say I love things like Kindle and being able to get books willy nilly at the drop of a hat.

  2. I think he exaggerated a bit. Most of us had microwaves by the 1980′s, and TV’s with remote controls. But the rest was pretty accurate.

    Actually, what I remember was the 70′s. If me and a buddy wanted to walk down to the lake and spend the whole day fishing all by ourselves, without any adult supervision, that was just fine with our parents. Ditto if we wanted to ride our bikes all over town, or off in the woods, or whatever. We lived like little Tom Sawyers back then. Not sure today’s kids even know who Tom Sawyer WAS. Everything is supervised and scripted for them. We used to gather whatever kids we could find and go play football on the golf course. Now you need a league and coaches and paid refs and you have to schedule your games months in advance.

    And then there is the music. I hate to sound like a snob (I really do) but I don’t think there’s been a good song recorded since at least the year 2000. We had Led Zeppelin, The Who, Aerosmith, Van Halen, and Rush. What do they have? Katy Perry and Lady Gaga?

    Life is too bland for these youngsters. We had the Cold War, and great Cold War movies like Red Dawn, Rambo, and Top Gun. They have a bunch of “Superhero” movies where guys dress up as bats and spiders to go out and fight crime. We had Sylvester Stallone kicking Commie ass. They’ve got Johnny Depp dressed up as a gay pirate.

  3. Eric wrote:

    We lived like little Tom Sawyers back then. Not sure today’s kids even know who Tom Sawyer WAS.

    They don’t, because Mark Twain’s classic has been removed from school libraries and American literature classes due to the use of the infamous “N” word. That word gets used more frequently in Huckleberry Finn, which gets that book worse treatment, but much of Huckleberry Finn is about Huck helping Jim, an escaped slave, to get to freedom. The sanitation of the surface has left the depths of the book unavailable.

  4. Some of my classmates from Mt Sterling High School have been discussing Miss Watson, one of the first grade teachers. Miss Watson was feared, feared! I say, but she was the best first grade teacher in the system: her students learned what they were supposed to learn, or they were not passed.

    If Miss Watson were in the schools today, she’s have quickly been fired: no school administrator would dare retain a teacher who would actually require students to learn. If Miss Watson told parents something about one of their kids in the 1960s, the parents listened; if she were teaching today, the student’s single mother and unemployed, live-in boyfriend would be rubbing their hands with glee at all of the money they’d get from their lawsuit against the school.

    I didn’t have Miss Watson; I was already in the third grade when we moved to Mt Sterling, but my two sisters had her.

  5. They don’t, because Mark Twain’s classic has been removed from school libraries and American literature classes due to the use of the infamous “N” word. That word gets used more frequently in Huckleberry Finn, which gets that book worse treatment, but much of Huckleberry Finn is about Huck helping Jim, an escaped slave, to get to freedom. The sanitation of the surface has left the depths of the book unavailable.

    What’s missing are the Tom Sawyer virtues of freedom and independence. If Tom and his pals wanted to skip school for a few days to go and play down by the river, they just went ahead and did it. For today’s kids, with their Borg like absorbtion into The System, such independence would be unthinkable!

  6. And don’t forget the people who were 10-15 years younger had that piece of crap flung at us called Viet-Nam. Those in their late teens and early 20′s in 1964 to 1970 had the choice no one else had, and that decision was how to handle not going the meat grinder in SE Asia.

  7. Mr Teach wrote:

    It was an amazing time, the late 70′s into 1980′s, when kids could actually ride their bikes or walk to school without fear.

    And even ride those bikes without bike helmets!

  8. In Nov. 1963, my brother, a friend of his and I walked in Washington, Disease from NY & 6th NW to the White House for Kennedy’s funeral at around 4am. Felt 100% safe. Today, robbed and/or dead.

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