And then you’ve got President Clinton who made the case as only he can. (Applause.) After he spoke, somebody sent out a tweet — they said, you should appoint him secretary of explaining stuff. (Laughter and applause.) I like that — secretary of explaining stuff. Although, I have to admit, it didn’t really say “stuff.” I cleaned that up a little bit. (Laughter.)
The thing is, when you have a good record, you don’t have to get someone to explain it to the American people; they can see whether your record is good all by themselves. If you need a “secretary of explaining stuff,” that means your record isn’t good enough that people can see that for themselves.
Back in the 1990s, I was running a concrete plant in Virginia, and we had an old, beat-to-death Kawasaki 85-Z II loader. It was completely worn out, and Ricky (the loader operator) and I preferred to use the old Volvo loader that didn’t have the first breath of brakes to the old Kaw. Well, management decided to send the Kawasaki back for a factory rebuild. (We had a good, new rental loader to replace the Kaw while the old one was gone.)
A couple months later, back came the old Kaw, with an after-market air conditioner mounted on top and a brand new paint job. Ricky went to get the rental loader while I pulled our rebuilt Kawasaki off the low-boy, and took it to fill the aggregate bins. I filled the bins, and then came back to the low-boy, where Ricky had loaded up the rental, and all of the bosses were standing there. I got out, and walked up to them and said, “Well, it just goes to show you; if you’ve got enough money, you really can paint a turd.”
The bosses were not amused, but I had told the plain truth: the factory had taken apart the engine, cleaned it up, replaced a few parts, and put it back together, but it was the same old engine, whether you wanted to call it rebuilt or otherwise, and the old Kaw was still a piece of [insert slang term for feces here].
And that’s what Bill Clinton’s job is now: he has to paint a turd for President Obama. Maybe he can, but under the shiny new paint job, his record will still be a piece of [insert slang term for feces here].